You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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