I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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