Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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