I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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