i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You are the jesus of drinking
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
