Do vagina's smell?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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