Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
