Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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