True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
