When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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