come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
