he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
