its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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