ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
