All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize