i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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