ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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