so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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