if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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