it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
