I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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