I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So vagazzling was a success
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