how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
