You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm both gender and math confused
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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