I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
