I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
