I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize