You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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