I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
