On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Randomize
