Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
