Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
