Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
