Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
