So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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