just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
