party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
