I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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