Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
