I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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