I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
