i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
