So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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