R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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