That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
