all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Dicks are not precious.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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