Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
