There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
