i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
