if you like me you must not know who I am
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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