It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
